Your partner ended things with you — or perhaps you decided to end it with them. No matter which side of the breakup you’re on, it’s time to close the chapter and move on.

With 85% of people experiencing a breakup in their lifetime, it’s clear that relationship struggles are a universal part of the human experience.

When moving on after a breakup, it’s tempting to search for the “best” way — distracting yourself with work, jumping into a new relationship or forcing yourself to get over it quickly. It’s easy to feel pressured into picking a method that feels like a quick fix. The truth is the best way to heal isn’t through avoidance or rushing the process. 

So what is the right way?

No Contact

Once the relationship ends, it’s almost instinctual to distance yourself from your ex — even on social media. The temptation to keep tabs on their life can be overwhelming. Still, it often leads to unnecessary pain and confusion. 

It’s believed that 60% of individuals engage in social media stalking of their exes after a breakup. Whether you’re curious about their new connections or want to see if they’re moving on, giving in to these impulses can keep you stuck in the past. It’s important to remember that sometimes, what we don’t know can help us heal faster. Disconnecting online is another step in reclaiming your emotional space and allowing yourself to let go entirely.

Immediately when you and your partner call it quits, you also have to say goodbye to their friend status on social media. No matter what terms it ends on, choosing not to block can lead to actively checking up on them or even scrolling through their following list. 

Feeling The Pain

Experiencing pain after a breakup isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s a testament to your capacity to love and feel deeply. We often think of strength as pushing through without acknowledging the hurt, but true strength comes from being vulnerable enough to sit with your emotions. Grief, anger and sadness are part of the healing process, not signs that you’re failing. Tell yourself it is okay to be hurt and know this was not an easy decision for you or your partner. 

Permit yourself to feel all the emotions. Understand that each emotion is valid. Let yourself cry when you need to, reminisce about the good times and feel the weight of the heartbreak. These emotions are part of the healing process and by sitting with them, rather than rushing to move on, you truly allow yourself to process the loss. 

Finding Peace within Yourself

The minute your ex drops the words, ‘I think we should break up,’ it’s easy to feel like you’re the one to blame, that somehow you’re at fault for the end of the relationship. Even if the relationship was imperfect, it could be a hard pill to swallow when the one you trusted and cared for no longer chooses to fight for you. That moment of abandonment can leave you questioning your worth, wondering why they gave up on you when you were still invested. The hurt isn’t just about the breakup — it’s about the loss of someone who once promised to stand by your side, only to let go when it mattered most. 

If you have to initiate the breakup, it can feel like an impossible decision, knowing you’re potentially shattering someone else’s heart. Sometimes, ending a relationship is necessary for growth or self-preservation. Still, it doesn’t make the process any less painful, especially when you know you’re leaving behind someone who still cares.

Rose Colored Glasses Off

Once you truly see your ex for who they are, you’ll begin to move on little by little. The person they showed themselves to be during and after the breakup is the person they always were, even if they didn’t want to admit it before. It’s easy to overlook the red flags when you’re in love, convincing yourself that people can change or that your love will be enough to make them better. 

But the truth is, love doesn’t fix people — it only allows us to ignore their flaws for a while, hoping they’ll improve. When the breakup happens, everything you tried to forget or forgive becomes clearer. You start to see the patterns that led to the end, the emotional toll it took, and how they showed you they weren’t willing or able to change. The sooner you accept who they are rather than who you wish they were, the sooner you can begin to heal and create space for a healthier future.

      Do It For You

It’s tempting to think that working on yourself after a breakup is about getting your ex back or proving your worth. But real growth doesn’t come from chasing someone who has already walked away. Your ex is your ex for a reason. 

So, let go. The person you were in that relationship doesn’t have to be who you are now. You don’t need validation from them nor do you need them to see how much you’ve changed. Your growth is not for their approval — it’s for you.

Think about what makes you happy, what fuels your passions and what brings you joy outside of the context of a relationship. What did you neglect while you were with your ex? What did you put on hold? Now is your chance to rediscover those parts of yourself.

It’s a revelation that comes with pain, but in time, it transforms into empowerment. The void they left behind is where your self-worth grows, and you discover unconditional love that no one else can provide but you